Was Friendship Meant To Come At A Cost? 5 Things That Corrupts Friendship

Times have changed so has our friends. Back in the days we used to choose our friends much better then we do today. 

So what is a friendship and has the word friend been misused to an extent that it no longer carries the value it once had?  

After getting acquainted to someone either from around home, school or work you develop a liking to that person, you talk freely and even share your secrets sometimes. You get into trouble together or help each other in times of need. 

That is the person you groom or grooms you to become their friend or your friend. You ignite a friendship who's ties and bonds are unbreakable for life. 

So it seems... Unfortunately, a virus has attacked most of our friends making friendship another act of dishonesty. 

What changed our friends to an an extent of asking was friendships meant to come at a cost?

Here are 5 things that corrupt friendship.

1. It Takes Time To Make A Good Friends.

Today every friend comes attached with an expiry date and more surprisingly is that the more friends we meet, the more their expiry date is short-lived. It also takes time for a seed to germinate and grow into something you can determine whether it's worth tending to or cutting down. 

Living in a world where most of our time is spent online, we have as well shifted our closets online changing the way we make friends. By digitally connecting with each other on platforms that bring us too close and expose everything about us, it gives us little or no time to think about that person we intend to start a friendship with. We can not vet who we fall for leaving us at the mercy of their undisclosed intentions. 

If friendship does not take time to properly bake, then it will definitely be a half-baked friendship.

Making good friends takes time but loosing them may not last a minute longer.

2. Misplaced Trust Among Friends.

Invoking the word trust among friends is equivalent to signing a lets end our friendship declaration.

"Trust me", is a soft spot friends go for when they want to convince you into doing something for them despite your conscience telling you not to.

What was it that your friends manipulated you to do? Was it into lending them your savings? Lending them your new car? Staying in your house while you were away perhaps?

We find pleasure in dining and wining with our friends so much that they become worth of our trust, the same trust that guards the pillars of our defense. We never doubt or question our friends demands especially when they are in trouble or in need. We will cross those deep rivers to reach our friends when they call out.

When all is over and the sea is calm again, the Sun shines over our friendship and that’s when we realize that the friends we so thought were close have eventually duped us. They move to so far yet they live among us, never return calls and worse of them all embark on a slandering spree.

The smile that you once exchange when you approached one another was literally the devil in disguise. 

So the saying that, "Teeth are bones!" What does your friendship smile stand for? 

3. Broke Friends Are Dispensable!

Has your friendship been tested? How deep is your friendship? Can your friendship stand the worst that is yet to come?

If life was a smooth road, nobody would get stuck! Unfortunately, that is not the case. As long as we have friends we will have to pull in and try to help them get back on the road of life.

While we have no choice but to work to make ends meet, we do have a choice to choose which friends to keep and which friends to dump when they become "heavy". As disheartening as it sounds, that is the true reality today.

We need friends whom we can depend on or who we share together the “good times” only. When our friends cease to be the friends who flashed fat wallets, drove in fancy cars or had a happy family we begin to see them more like a bother, a burden and a distasteful beggar.

What did we expect? We became friends when all was merry, a friendship we built on sand and one that was never to stand the tides of perseverance, covering each others back, been there for one another and let me help you with anything.

    

Your friends will see you dispensable the moment you slip a word to them that you are broke. You are not indispensable when you are pockets are no longer deep enough.

4. Out of Sight, Out of Mind Kind of Ideology.

How often do you meet with your friends? How often you see your friend/s may imply the extend of their importance and where you hold them in your life. 

Some friends are worth meeting once a week, others once a month or even once a year. The less important a friend is to you, the less likely you want to keep bumping into them. You even try to end the meeting with an excuse or better still pretend you never saw them in the first place. 

An occasional letter or post card would serve better then a visit from a friend you consider less close to you. To avoid disappointments in future, know which friends to keep close and which friends forget that they ever came across you by the end of the day.

5. Familiarity Breeds Contempt.

Friendship has become a pass to our friends private life. We hardly notice that we are invading their privacy because they cherish our friendship so much that they fear spelling it open that we are becoming too comfortable where we are not supposed to.

Friends with no respect to boundaries are like damaged goods and sooner or later they will become unbearable. Giving our friends space allows them to think and staying away for a while makes them miss us. 

Over crowding their space creates a distasteful familiarity that eventually breeds contempt. That is when we become their checkmate.